


Requited

by raikaya (rqyh)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, Crying, Day5, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Unrequited Love, a different angle a different approach, after watching to all the boys i loved before, also i just wrote this like two days before day4 of briwoonweek, and stupidly decides to write a letter to him, briwoonweek19, dowoon has a secret crush on younghyun, it was a literal whim and took two hours i think??, it's a different take on unrequited love, so you can get where this is going, that's a fact, unrequited love doesnt have to be sad, we're going there, what comes after can be interpreted however way you want, yes - Freeform, younghyun loves dowoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 15:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20566304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rqyh/pseuds/raikaya
Summary: It probably wasn't a good idea to write a love letter and leave it in his own desk drawer with the expectation that no one would find it, but Dowoon never really was the best decision-maker.#briwoonweek19 #day5





	Requited

Dowoon looked behind him to see Younghyun coming up from the direction of his room, a yawn on his lips as his mouth went to cover it. He looked a bit tired—if the redness of his dehydrated cheeks was any indication—and Dowoon turned back to the breakfast he was cooking, focusing on the vegetables mixing in with the rice.

“Morning, hyung,” he said. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night?”

“Yeah, it was kind of a ruse, too.” Younghyun’s voice was getting louder, so Dowoon assumed he was walking towards him. “I stayed up all night trying to come up with lyrics after that movie we all watched, but it’s all just scribble. I don’t even think I can even understand some of the words I wrote.”

The movie had been a romance-drama featuring an ill-fated main character and her happy-go-lucky hospital mate who tried her best to value life in a place that stank of death. It was a bit of a philosophical movie and if Dowoon were to analyze it piece-by-piece he could see the various ways it used the situation as a metaphor for God and Heaven. That explained the constant tears in Jaehyung’s eyes, who normally didn’t cry at these sort of things. God knew he was Christian before anything else, respect. 

“I’m sure you’ll get to it, eventually,” Dowoon assured him, mixing the ingredients of the fried rice as evenly as he could. It was possible that someone later that morning was going to need to drink lots of water after the salt-fest that would occur in his mouth. “You always do. And if you need help you could always ask us. I think Wonpillie-hyung is making a song with Jaehyungie-hyung again, too.”

“Those two are always in sync when it comes to those things.” Dowoon heard a chuckle come from his side. “Can’t wait to see how it’ll turn out.”

Silence followed soon after, after Dowoon gave his reply in the form of a small hum and an acknowledging nod. The only thing that filled the void was the sound of the rice frying, alongside the oil, the carrots, the onion leeks, the egg, and the kimchi. Never underestimate the power of the kimchi.

“Could I have a bite of that?” Younghyun suddenly asked and Dowoon was made to look at him finally, if only by the raised eyebrow of his curiosity.

“It’s not yet done,” he said, still with that eyebrow. “And besides, we should all eat together. I don’t even think Sungjinnie-hyung is out of bed yet.”

“But don’t I get special treatment?” Younghyun said, with a waggle of the eyebrows and a grin spreading across his face. 

“Special treatment?” His curiously raised eyebrow became two confusedly-furrowed eyebrows.

“You know…” And he leaned in just a tiny bit, as if to emphasize the secrecy of the situation. “Since you have a crush on me.”

And that notion made a wave of warmth wash over Dowoon’s face, effectively covering up and reddening the entirety of his face and ears. He was even almost about to push all the kimchi fried rice out of its place in its pan, if not for his love of food and zero waste. He turned his head away almost immediately at the response, if just to save himself from further embarrassment.

“God, I told you to stop referencing that,” he said, and continued on his work.

Younghyun’s mortifying reference came in the form of about three days ago, in the location of Dowoon’s unlocked room. Younghyun had walked in to ask to borrow one of Dowoon’s chargers, since all of his were stolen by Wonpil and Jaehyung, who used it so they could watch stuff on Sungjin’s phone, and found the four walls to be completely empty of the drummer, who had until then been safely cooped up in his place of comfort, never to leave it unless with good reason.

The good reason had been to buy a bunch of packaged snacks and ramyeon cups from the convenience store below the building, as Dowoon was planning on binge-watching this new anime that came out and was made by his favorite studio. He had been humming happily to himself on his way up the steps thinking about all the yummy food and content he was about to consume. He didn’t even question why his room was open and was even able to place his bought things on his bed before he noticed the other person in the room. His spirits were at their highest and it felt like nothing could bring him down.

Until he noticed the other person in the room.

Younghyun had been staring at him the entirety of his way in and Dowoon probably would’ve ended it at his, “_Aigo, kkamjjagiya!_” and just dismissed it as a funny time at the dorm.

But then he noticed the paper in his hand.

It was a handwritten letter. Written by someone who was unfortunately influenced by the movie To All the Boys I Loved Before and decided to make a letter to the person he’d been crushing on for the past few years, or so. Written in unmistakable handwriting and placed strategically at the furthest corners of his desk drawer so that there wouldn’t ever be a chance of anyone finding it. But that wouldn’t matter to someone who was looking to borrow his charger and would have no way to know that he kept his chargers in his _bedside_ drawer, not his desk drawer. It wouldn’t matter to someone who was so close to him that he probably wouldn’t have minded it had that letter not been there.

But that letter _had_ been there. And that letter was there now, in Younghyun’s hands. 

(Dowoon was a little bit glad that Younghyun had been the first to have spoken. If it was him, the only thing that would have come out would be a squeak.)

“You had a crush on me?” Younghyun said, almost in a whisper. His words had come out in a single breath, as if he was too astonished to keep oxygen flowing in and out of him normally.

Dowoon tried to get himself out of it. He tried his best to save face.

“No,” he lied, blurting it out as if to make it obvious that he was. “That letter isn’t even written by m—I mean, what letter? What is that piece of stationery currently resting between your set of fingertips—”

“You literally wrote your name at the end of it.” And Younghyun showed him, pointing to the _With love (hopefully requited), Yoon Dowoon _written in black ink. “You even put your sign and everything.” He didn’t even bother to address Dowoon’s bluff of not knowing what the piece of paper was. 

“Well, who said it was addressed to you?” Dowoon challenged, as if he was an ant holding up a leaf sword to a whale. “Kinda full of yourself to think that it’s _you_ I have a crush on, don’t you think, hy—”

“It says here, ‘To my dearest Kang Younghyun’.” And Younghyun flipped the paper around, reading.

“... There are a lot of Kang Younghyuns in the wor—”

“It says here, ‘To my dearest Kang Younghyun-slash-Young K-slash-Brian Kang-slash-the love of my life’.”

There was a pause.

“Those are all different people—”

“Dowoon-ah.”

He bowed his head in resignment.

“Yes, I have a crush on you.”

Silence ensued a moment after, and Dowoon found himself shifting the weight of his feet from one to the other.

“Since when?” Younghyun asked, and Dowoon repressed the sigh that would have left his lips.

“Since the day I met you,” he answered, still shifting, now fiddling with his fingers. “I mean—it’s all there written in the letter, hyung, you don’t have to ask—”

“But I want to hear it from you,” he said, almost strictly. “I wanna hear exactly how you feel.”

That made Dowoon glance up at him, like a child getting disciplined by his parents. Younghyun was looking at him with all the seriousness in the world, but also all the softness.

He let out a sigh, resigning once again.

“I’ve liked you since the day I met you, hyung,” he said, thinking back to that awkward time as a new member of the band. “I know you were kinda intimidated by me at the time because I had that bad habit of looking mean while drumming, but you were nonetheless really kind to me, and accommodating. And I don’t know, that just made me want to be closer to you, I guess.

“Overtime when you and I started becoming closer and you started doting on me like a mother, I realized that what I was feeling for you was a lot different from what I felt for the other members. I wanted you to notice me, I wanted you to always be by my side—and even though I love the other members just as much as I loved you, for you there was an addition of _another_ type of love beside it. The kind that people use to say that they’re ‘in love’ with someone. And I guess I’m in love with you, too, not just simply ‘like’. And I guess right now I don’t think I’ll be able to love or like anyone else. Not right now, anyway. Maybe someday, but definitely not soon. And… definitely not _not_ soon, either.”

Dowoon kept his eyes on Younghyun as he confessed his feelings, finding his heart to be beating loudly in his chest despite his calm words. He had grown used to that disparity, of his heart and mind feeling two things at the same time. It’s what happens when you’re in love with someone you’re used to; your body can’t make its mind up.

He saw that Younghyun was about to say something, saw that he was about to respond, but Dowoon cut him off before his words could even leave his mouth, by way of a palm held up in “Stop.”

“Look, hyung, it’s okay,” he said, and Younghyun pulled his lip up. “I already know you don’t like me back. I mean, you’ve literally said that you’ve never felt love before, so with the power of elimination, I already know your answer.”

He started walking towards him, with a purpose in his mind.

“And don’t worry, it’s not like I’m gonna get butt-hurt by this or anything,” he assured him, knowing it to be true, a hundred percent. “You’re one of my closest friends and I really value you as a person more so than a crush, and our friendship is really important to me. So it doesn’t matter if you don’t like me, because it’s not like I became friends with you to like you, either.”

Dowoon finally reached him and fulfilled his purpose.

“So you don’t have to concern yourself with this, okay, hyung?” he said, taking the letter from his hands. “It’s not that important, it’s not that big of a deal, and we can all just move on without—”

“What are you talking about?” Younghyun said, and he said it in a whisper again. “It _is_ a big deal, Dowoon-ah—this is _very_ big deal.”

That made Dowoon stop for a moment. He blinked his eyes at Younghyun, a bit blank.

“You can’t just throw away your feelings like that like they’re a piece of paper in the trash,” Younghyun said. “They’re your _feelings_, Dowoon-ah, they’re your _emotions_. And they’re just as important as any other thing in life.”

Dowoon blinked. “But, hyung, it really doesn’t matter that all to me—”

“And it doesn’t to _me_?” Younghyun countered. “It doesn’t matter to me that one of my closest friends, one of my _best_ friends, my _family_, has been having feelings for me without me knowing? Without me knowing if I accidentally said something to hurt them? Acting like everything’s okay and that I can say and act however I want because I assumed they had no feelings for me? That _you_ had no feelings for me, when you _do_ have feelings for me? How could you disregard such an important thing and think of it as something with such little value?”

Dowoon said nothing. Dowoon kept listening.

“People think that love involves more than one person _only_ when it’s requited, but love involves people no matter what, Dowoon-ah—there will always be people affected on _both_ sides, even if it’s just you who feels it.”

Dowoon kept listening. Younghyun kept talking.

“You can’t tell me to not worry or concern myself about this when it concerns someone who deserves every bit of my worry,” he whispered. “You can’t tell me not to respond when this _warrants_ response. You can’t tell me to dim down my value for you now.”

Dowoon glanced down. Then, crossed his arms and glanced up.

“Are you done with the lecture?” he said in a soft voice, still like a child getting disciplined by his parents.

“Are you going to let me give you my response?”

Dowoon bit his lip for a moment. Then, he nodded. 

“Yeah.”

A breath of relief left Younghyun’s lips at that, and Dowoon almost smiled. It was just like him to worry his head over for something like this. It was just like him.

“I’m sorry,” Younghyun said, “but I can’t return your feelings.”

Dowoon nodded. “I know.”

“You’re a great guy, and a _wonderful_ guy, and you’re one of my best friends, but right now I don’t feel anything for you.”

“I know, hyung. You literally just summarized and paraphrased everything you just said up ‘till now.”

“And while I’m not sure if I could ever like you _back_,” Younghyun said with a pointed look on his face, addressed to his sass, “know that this doesn’t make me like you any less than I already have. Because I _do_ like you, Dowoon-ah, and I _do_ love you—just not ‘too’.”

At that, a sudden lump formed in Dowoon’s throat and he tried his best to swallow it down, berating himself for such a stupid thing. He was literally _fine_ with it, he literally _knew_ about it months ago, so why was his body acting this way?

“I—I know, hyung.” His voice cracked. “I… I know.”

“And just because I don’t love you the way you love me, doesn’t mean that I’m gonna leave you, or break up with you, or let things grow awkward between us,” Younghyun whispered, and Dowoon felt a hand on his cheek. “Because I value you as a person, as a friend, and as _family_—more than just someone I could be dating.”

And it was then that the tears finally gushed out, after Dowoon kept them down for so long. Convincing himself this was fine, that _he_ was fine, that unrequited love would never hurt him the way it hurt the people around him because he knew enough to not let it control him.

But people are people, and people have feelings, and sometimes feelings can be stronger than people. They were the one thing you _can’t_ control no matter what you do. No matter the stories you heard, the book you’ve read, the lessons you’ve listened to. Because theories and textbooks can’t compare to the real thing. And what’s in the mind can’t dictate what’s in reality.

“You want me to give you a hug?” Younghyun asked, already spreading his arms out.

“Yes, please,” Dowoon whimpered, already leaning in.

He cried a lot that night, all in Younghyun’s arms and with snot and tears staining his shirt—thank god the older never minded. At one point he assumed that one or more of the other members came to check on the commotion and started gathering by the open door, as he vaguely registered concerned whispers and Younghyun mouthing something to make them go away. It only made him hug him tighter, keep him closer to him. And Younghyun wrapped his arms around Dowoon tighter as well, whispering him words of comfort. He found solace in those words. He found relief despite getting hurt.

Eventually, Dowoon pulled away and wiped at his eyes with his knuckle, still sniffling a bit. He still had his letter—now crumpled—in his left hand, and was now thinking of what to do with it.

“I should probably keep this away, huh,” he said in a thick, tear-strained voice, gesturing with the paper. “I’d throw it away, but you’ll probably scold me if I did that.”

“I would, as a matter of fact, but I think I’ve got a better solution in mind.”

And before he knew it, the letter was taken from his hands, and he was staring up at a grin on the face of his most beloved.

“It’d be rude of me to return this letter when you put so much effort into it,” he said, uncrumpling and straightening it out, eyes scanning over the words with a smile on his face. “And it’s nice to have a reminder that someone in this world actually loves you. Like _loves _you, not just like. You don’t get to meet that kind of person a lot in your life, and I’m already so lucky to have met you even without that.”

“Please, I’m sure you have lots of admirers, hyung.” Dowoon sniffed, crossing his arms. “Especially when you smile? I’m pretty sure all of the fans who have the other members as their bias have swerved to your lane at some point.”

“And how many of them have told me that?” Younghyun smiled. “How many of them actually know me like you do?”

Dowoon breathed out a laughter at that, but his smile stayed intact. Who knew that unrequited love could end in heartbreak, yet at the same time happiness?

“Plus, since you like me now, I get instant brownie points.” Younghyun nudged him with an elbow and a wink playfully. “Got a crush’s no-pay discount for a trip to the restaurant?”

At that Dowoon scoffed unbelievingly and lightly hit Younghyun on the arm, earning a cackle in return. “You think that just because I like you, hyung, you’re gonna get extra treatment?” he said, incredulous. “You make it sound like I only started liking you now—”

“So, what you’re saying is I’ve _always_ been getting extra treatment—”

Dowoon scoffed. “As if!” And he turned away with both hands raised up, as if to dis-involve himself from the situation and moved to walk out of the room just for the very purpose of walking out.

And Younghyun followed him out of it, cackling and snorting at the amusement of it all. But it didn’t remove the relief that Dowoon felt after a successful confession. It didn’t remove the pleasant feeling of knowing that they were okay, maybe even _more_ than okay, despite everything.

And though Younghyun still teased him about it—just like he did just now about the kimchi fried rice—Dowoon tried not to mind it as much. Because the situation was better than he had imagined it, even if there _were_ more instances of him getting flustered, just like this.

“But it’s so fun to tease you!” Younghyun protested with a laugh, an obvious wide grin to his face. “Your face gets so red every time, and your ears get even redder—”

“Either way, hyung, I already told you you’re not getting any special treatment.” Dowoon turned to him still with a blush on his face, a rather angry one. “You can either cook this yourself, or go sit and wait at the table like everyone else.”

Younghyun smiled as a response to that and eventually relented, moving to leave him in a relaxed manner.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” he said, chuckling and giving him a pat on his shoulder. “Even I know my limits sometimes. I’ll just wake the others, then, yeah? The food looks like it’s almost done.”

And with another pat on the shoulder, Younghyun left the kitchen, and Dowoon stayed looking at him as he walked away.

People assume that when they love someone the effect goes from Person A to Person B, and vice versa. In a relationship, the girlfriend loves the boyfriend, the boyfriend loves the boyfriend, the boyfriend loves the girlfriend, the girlfriend loves the girlfriend, and the significant others love the significant others. (It takes a lot of words to be politically correct.) One person loves another person, and not more than that.

But what is often forgotten—or even commonly unknown—is that when you love someone, you actually love two people: both the person whom your heart points to, and the person whom that heart belongs to. Because you don’t love someone so your love can be requited; you love someone when you _yourself_ requite it. When _you_ accept these feelings you’re suddenly feeling, and when _you_ come to terms with it. Only then can you love someone else. Only then, when you’ve started loving yourself.

Which was why Dowoon took a giant scoop of his kimchi fried rice and called out Younghyun’s name, by which the older immediately zoomed back in the kitchen as if low-key expecting it, but knowing to not be arrogant about it. It was why he nudged the serving spoon up without telling Younghyun why he called him back, and why he rolled his eyes with a smile as Younghyun jumped for joy when he understood, exhilarated beyond reason.

It was why he burst out laughing when Younghyun crumpled his face up in disgust and reached for a glass of water, making him find out where exactly the salt had been centered when he was still unfinished in mixing it.

It was why he took another scoop and fed Younghyun with it, feeling a wide smile form on his face as Younghyun expressed his elation at his now-better-tasting cooking. 

It was why he had to make another batch of kimchi fried rice with Younghyun helping by his side, and despite it, kept smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day!  
#briwoonweek19 #day5
> 
> twitter: [@raikayyylmao](https://twitter.com/raikayyylmao)  
curiouscat: [@raikayyylmao](https://curiouscat.me/raikayyylmao)  
hellopoetry: [@ruqiruqi](https://hellopoetry.com/ruqiruqi/)


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